Hospitality

Today's post is from Deanna Morauski

Never in my wildest dreams would I have ever guessed that I would own a business in which a couple of my least favorite things would be my priority. My least favorite meal has always been breakfast. My least favorite chores are dusting, making beds and cleaning restrooms. And that is what I do to make our bed and breakfast happen. This makes me giggle inside every day but perhaps that is because these duties are balanced by my favorite part of what I do. I love people.

As a child, I was fortunate to be able to learn from everyone around me how to be hospitable. I learned quickly from the amazing adults around me that hospitality is love. Here are some treasured thoughts about hospitality they taught me.

Keep it creative. Creativity does not come to us when we are stressed. It is good to take breaks. If you watch closely, you will see that creative thoughts come flooding when we are well rested and peaceful. Take a deep breathe. Ask God to calm you. Breathe in his love. No, really, take in a deep breath and smile. He loves you and he wants you to be well rested. You know how grumpy you get when things are too busy? That’s not God-driven so kick back once and awhile.

Keep it real. From an extremely tall guest forgetting the lock combination climbing through the window, to fresh from the oven quiche falling on the floor, sometimes we just cannot control the surprises that come our way. So often love is carried by the wings of laughter and humility. When we are able to be real, we give our guests the gift of being okay when they too make mistakes. How lovely and humbling that over and over again, we have the opportunity to help those who have lost their laughter to find it again in one glorious, silly, unexpected moment.

Keep it about love. Do things with love and you will never go wrong in showing others Jesus. Sometimes while we are busy loving others, we get caught up in the distraction of trying to fix them instead. Thankfully, God never intended for us to fix them. He just asked us to love them and show them the truth he gave.

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
I Corinthians 13:4-7

Hospitality isn’t always easy though. There are days when I am tired and don’t feel like being hospitable. There are moments when I lose focus on what’s important; but when I remind myself that hospitality is love, things fall back into perspective.

See the part in the verse about not demanding our own way? Ugh. Easier to read than to live, I’ve found. Sometimes the moment is for me, for me to let go a little. For me to learn to rejoice in things that seem too small to rejoice over while heaven has a choir of angels singing over that very same “small” moment. Yes, it gets messy but if it ceases to be at least somewhat messy, that is when we are either controlling or pushing people away. I always remind myself, “Love doesn’t fix.” Time for a little break, perhaps. And then I allow myself to breathe in the love of Jesus again and pick myself back up. After all, there’s always the five second rule.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Pastor Deanna Morauski, CMHC - Deanna’s love for baking and cooking began as she sat upon a baker’s stool as a little girl. Her love for people grew in the midst of church potlucks. Deanna has been a pastor’s wife since 1997. She expresses her loves today creatively through photography and writing for her foodie blog, tastehope.com, as well as hosting guests at her inn, The Old Hen Bed & Breakfast in Snoqualmie Valley, Washington.

In Quietness and Trust Are Your Strength

Today's post is from Shauntae Brown White

Some days I really do feel sorry for my husband. He is the lone male in a house full of women—well, our two girls and me. While my husband is perfectly fine talking, but equally fine saying nothing, we ladies of the house love to talk. I am never short on opinions or conversation topics. But, I must give my husband credit; there is something to being still, being quiet, and just being. As we prepare to close out 2010, I ask you, when was the last time you were quiet? When was the last time you sought quietness with the Lord?

Even though my husband has a gift of being able to read, never lifting his eyes to look at me, and still tell me exactly what I have said, I want his undivided attention. I am just as guilty. When I give my automated “uh huh” response to our youngest daughter when she is incessantly talking, she will declare, “Mommy! You are not listening to me!” Just like I want my husband’s and my daughter wants my undivided attention, God wants our undivided attention when seek Him, too.

Though the Lord desires to have an intimate relationship with us, Isaiah 30:15 tells of the benefits of quietness to us, “…in quietness and trust is your strength…” It's only when we spend time being, talking and listening to God can we learn to trust Him and find our strength in Him.

What keeps you from experiencing quietness? Yes, we all have obligations, responsibilities, and people for whom to care. But, really? What keeps you from experiencing quietness, even for a few minutes of the day? For me, I must admit it is my computer. Quite honestly, I do need it to work, and so it’s on much of the day. But, I also turn it on when I wake up in the wee hours of the morning hoping it will put me back to sleep. I also must admit I am on Facebook much more often than I care to admit. I often wonder how I wasted time before. For you it might be other outside distractions—television, phones, music, always doing, moving, ripping, running, always talking and rarely listening.

In quietness and trust, we find strength to wait on God. We find strength to know when we should speak and when we should listen. We find strength to let the small stuff go. We find strength to go with the flow when things don’t work out as planned. Yes, we find strength for the big issues of life, but we cheat ourselves of the strength to go through the ordinary days as well.

For 2011, I am recommitting to not turning on the computer before I experience quietness with God. How will you commit to quietness?

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Shauntae Brown White lives in Raleigh, NC with her husband and two daughters. She has been a pastor's wife for 12 years

Having Mary’s Heart in a World Like Martha's

Today's post is from Maegan Roper

I borrowed this title from one of my favorite books, Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World by Joanna Weaver (highly recommend it for PW’s especially!). It has been anything but a "quiet" time lately, with all that this season brings. Sometimes when I think about Mary sitting at the feet of Jesus I find myself thinking about it as if it’s a luxury. Here lately, I’ve felt much more like a Martha; running around to make sure things are taken care of for the holiday season in the midst of normal every day responsibilities.

Yesterday on our way home from Christmas travels I just laid my head back and prayed as my husband drove and our baby slept and cried to think that time with my Savior would ever be a far off thought. While there are positive aspects of both Mary and Martha qualities; the key is to keeping a Mary spirit among the inevitable Martha lifestyle. This is what I’ve missed lately.

My husband gently reminded me (always the voice of humility and encouragement when I’m beating myself up) that it’s all about balance and even if I’m unable to find one quiet moment in the day, it’s about having the longing for deep communication with my Father and expressing that to Him. He knows our hearts better than anyone else. "How precious are your thoughts concerning me..." (Psalm 139:17).

Recently, I’ve been working on a project with my publishing house called “Worship & Song.” It’s a worship planning resource for music ministers and worship leaders. In it contains hundreds of beautiful litanies and prayers for each season and for various topics of faith. When I found this prayer He spoke so profoundly and clearly to my heart and my prayer today, sisters is that in your ministry and among your many tasks He beckon you to Himself and awaken your longing to sit at His feet :)

Sending peace and blessings your way for a wonderful New Year!

Our lives are cluttered, Lord Jesus,
    by too many things
       and too much to do.
We are driven by the need to succeed
    and distracted from our service.
We have often lost our way.
Forgive us.
Let us, like Mary,
    find the one thing that is needed
       and sit at your feet. Amen.

© 2010 The General Board of Discipleship of The United Methodist Church

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Maegan Harris Roper is the wife of a youth pastor, mother, worship leader, and full time Marketing and Publicity Manager. She and her husband Jeremy serve on staff at St. Paul Community Church in Nashville, TN where they do a little of everything, but focus on student ministry. Maegan is the proud mom of Emmalyn Brooke, who is 10 months old. When she’s not serving alongside her husband and adjusting to mommy hood, she’s working for a talented team of Christian fiction authors with Abingdon Press as their Marketing and PR Manager. She loves that her job combines faith, outreach, and great novels! She’s passionate about connecting to and encouraging other women both in and outside of the ministry and she often blogs on various missional, faith-based topics at her blog, A Different Remedy, http://www.maeganroper.blogspot.com/

The Gift of Peace

Today's post is from Jessica Miller Kelley


The worship music ended, and the pastor walked out and sat on his stool, from which he usually did his preaching.

He folded his hands on his lap, and just looked out at the congregation.

People grew uncomfortable, and quickly felt compelled to fill the silence.
“Good morning!” one said, thinking maybe the pastor wanted the congregation to greet him first. Others chimed in, but the pastor said nothing.

“You feelin’ all right, Preach?” someone asked with a chuckle.

“Short sermon today?” another person quipped.

Personally, I was grateful for the silence, which was being marred by the good-natured heckling of the crowd. It had been a crazy morning. I was sick and stressed. My daredevil toddler was getting rowdy in the bathroom and fell hard on her cheek. I considered just staying home, at least until time for worship at the church my husband pastors. But I needed this time to myself, where I could worship anonymously and unselfconsciously.

I craved a moment of peace, to relax the tension in my body and mind, and bring my thoughts to God. The pastor gave us just the gift I needed (as a sermon illustration to demonstrate the difficulty of waiting patiently), but many did not recognize the silence as a gift. They felt uncomfortable and sought to fill the time with words, jokes, and nervous laughter.

Quiet moments can be rare between all the responsibilities and distractions of life, but they are even rarer because we don’t recognize them when they do happen and cherish them for the gifts they are. When we find ourselves having to wait somewhere or somehow stuck with “nothing to do,” we fill the time with chatter or a game of Sudoku on our iPhones, rather than simply resting and allowing God’s peace to rest within us and renew us.

Christmas Eve is a workday for most pastors, and squeezing in family dinner and personal traditions around leading services can get hectic; but chances are that tomorrow will be quiet. Even if the Christmas music is playing and the children are wearing out the batteries on their noisiest new toys, the pace of life will be slower and there will be chances to just stop and rest.

Take time for solitude. Take a moment to step back and be still. Watch your family play and let the joy wash over you. Welcome the Prince of Peace into your home and cherish the gift of peace that he brings on Christmas Day and always.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Jessica Miller Kelley is a working mom and pastor’s wife in Tennessee. Her husband, Matt, is a United Methodist pastor, and their daughter Kate is the rambunctious toddler who lights up their lives. She blogs about motherhood, books, and church issues at The Parsonage Family (http://www.mattandjesskelley.blogspot.com/).

True Confessions of a Hypocrite

“I am such a hypocrite!” I moaned to my husband over my raisin bran.

“What do you mean, honey?”

"Oh, I sit and teach Sunday school every week, giving victory lessons to the ladies in my class. Then, when a crisis hits, I worry and fret. Or, if I have a rough day at work, I complain about how stupid people are. It’s easy for me to solve everyone else’s problems, but solving my own is like asking the Rolling Stones to sing “Take me Out to the Ball Game!” Last week I taught the Women of Faith Circle about controlling fleshly appetites. I even gave them a list of Scriptures to read and meditate on, about keeping the body under control. Then today at the potluck after church, I munched down ten million homemade persimmon cookies! ”

“That many?”

I gave him a nasty look. “I’m serious, Mr Funny Pants. Why can’t I live what I preach for ten minutes in a row?”

“Well, Jeanette, I think you’re being too harsh on yourself. It’s always simple to look at another’s problem and objectively share a solution. We all do it. At least you realize the areas God is convicting you of. You are aware of your hypocrisy, and that’s a good thing. No one except Jesus can say, “Follow me; I do all things well.”

“Great, I’m really encouraged by that. It’s like saying if you know how stupid you are, that’s halfway to being smarter. I just want to be grown up. I don’t want to go through the process of getting there.”

“Hmmm…” Even Kevin didn’t have an answer for that one.

Whenever I gossip or complain about someone else’s faults, the Holy Spirit pokes me, asking, “And you’re so perfect?” I NEVER get away with complaining.

I was complaining to the Lord about this one day, that I never get away with complaining.

“Look, Lord, at Doodly Doo who is an elder down at Three Spires Church on the corner. He is grumpy with his employees, treats his wife like a dog, and never mows his lawn. How come you let him get away with all that, and I can’t get away with anything?”

“My dear, do you really want to get away with things? Or, do you want me to love you enough to tell you when you are hurting Me, yourself, and those you care about?”

I forever fail to win an argument with Him. But, I had to admit He was right. I really don’t want to get away with attitudes and actions that hurt Him or others. So, I bring Him the same stinky sins over and over, relying on His forgiveness and cleansing.

Will I always be a hypocrite? Probably.

I can’t imagine myself at the place where I can say, “Let me get that speck out of your eye, honey, ” without the bitter stab of conviction that I’m peering around a log.  But if Kevin’s word is any consolation, at least I’m showing a little maturity by not pretending to be perfect!






ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Jeanette Levellie is an author, speaker, wife, mother, and grandmother. She lives with her pastor husband and three recliners-full of cats in Paris, IL.  Find her on Facebook and her personal blog at Audience of ONE

Will You Do It For HIM?

by Niki Turner

Much of the work PW's do goes unnoticed and unrecognized, whether it's visiting the elderly or updating the church website. Much of our labor for the Lord takes place behind the scenes.

I spent most of Saturday afternoon at the church shampooing chairs and polishing chrome. (If anyone is considering purchasing new chairs or pews, please take my advice and DON'T get dark blue upholstery or chrome.)

Spiritually speaking, I was emitting a "pity party" signal while I sprayed and brushed and suctioned the chairs. When I left for the church, my husband and I were in the midst of a discussion about where and when we want to spend Christmas. I took my "woe-is-me" attitude along to do the work of the Lord in caring for His house.

There's something wonderful about an empty church building. Something that allows the Spirit of God to speak up on the inside of you even when you're waiting for your pity party table-for-one.

As I scrubbed chairs and moped about my family not caring about me, and the church not bothering to notice anything I do in my pastor's wife role, the Lord spoke up over the roar of the Little Green Machine.

"I notice."

"Really, Lord? You care whether or not these chairs are clean?"

"I care that you are cleaning them because you want to honor me."

"No one else cares."

"If that were true, would you do it just for Me?"

Well, of course I would.

Faced with that question, I'd do anything for my Jesus, wouldn't you? It's a question He has posed to me more than once.


"Would you have church in this place if only one person was ministered to? Would you do it for Me?"

"If no one else will worship Me, will you worship Me?"

Whatever you're doing unto the Lord — whether it's scrubbing toilets or preparing a Sunday school lesson or making sure your husband has clean clothes to wear — may go unnoticed by the dull human eyes around you.

But you can rest assured, Someone sees.

Someone notices.

And in the eternal scope of things, His point-of-view is the one that really matters.

About the Author:

Niki Turner has been a pastor's wife for twelve years at a small church in rural Northwestern Colorado. She and her husband have four children, are soon-to-be grandparents, and have been married for 20 years.

Niki writes fiction, blog posts, articles for the local newspaper, grocery lists, and Facebook status updates. She can be found at her own blog, In Truer Ink, on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays in addition to posting here and at Inkwell Inspirations.

Welcoming the Glory

II Samuel 6 shows us 3 different views of the same event through the actions of three main characters: David, Michal, Obed-Edom.

Israel had been having “church” for over 40 years without the ark of the covenant. In the Old Testament the Ark of the Covenant symbolizes God’s glory. They had “church” but the glory wasn’t there. Because during the time of the high priest, Eli, the ark had been captured by the Philistines.

The Philistines had quickly returned the ark due to a plague God sent upon the land. But instead of being restored to the tabernacle it sat for over 40 years in Abinadab’s house. The entire time Saul was king the ark stayed in Abinadab’s house.

When David became king he asked a very important question—Where is the ark? When he gets the answer, David decides to bring it to Jerusalem.

He takes a whole parade—the leading 30,000 citizens of Israel. They make a new cart and place the ark on it and start driving it towards Zion. At some point in the procession, Uzzah, the son of Abinadab charged with tending the ark, reaches up to steady the ark and is immediately struck dead.

To us it seems a shockingly severe punishment, but the law was plain, to touch the ark meant death. They should never have tried to transport the ark on a cart. The Philistines knew no better, but God had specifically commanded Israel in the way to handle his ark. God also sees the heart. Uzzah may very well have stretched out his hand to show all the people around how familiar he was with the ark. Such pride leads to destruction.

At this moment, David and the elders don’t know exactly what to do, so they put the ark in Obed Edom’s house. Now Obed Edom wasn’t even an Israelite. He was a Gittite. The ark stayed in his home for 3 months and the Bible specifically says that the house of Obed Edom was blessed because of the ark.

Abinadab had the ark in his house for over 40 years and the Bible never once says he was blessed because of it.

But Obed-Edom’s response was very different than Abinadab’s. It’s apparent that he so loved having the ark in his house that when it was taken away he followed it to Jerusalem and took up a job as a doorkeeper in the house of the Lord just so he could stay close to the ark.

David regroups and then comes back for the ark, and this time they do it right. Levites are brought to carry the ark and every 7 steps they offer a special sacrifice unto the Lord. (Yes, it took a looong time!)

The ark was brought into Jerusalem with great joy.

David took off his royal robes and ran before the ark announcing its return to the people and dancing with joy. Now his wife, Michal, Saul’s daughter is standing on her balcony watching the parade when she sees David dancing before the Lord with all his might.

Her response was the exact opposite of what it should have been. Instead of joining in praise to the Lord she gets mad at David.

When David is finished getting the ark set up in the tabernacle he had built for it, he rushes home to bless his household. He runs up the stairs. “Hey Baby, guess what I brought home today!”

And Michal is standing there. Glaring. Probably tapping her foot. She rebukes him. And she implies that he was immoral in dancing before the Lord. She thought it hurt his dignity as king. And therefore her own dignity as queen. At that moment she was much more the daughter of Saul, than she was the wife of David.

Michal made several mistakes.

1. She should have been out there with David, praising the Lord and welcoming the glory of God into the city.
2. If for some reason she could not go, she should have rejoiced to see her husband praising the Lord.
3. She placed pride before worship. No office, position or sense of importance is worth losing out on God’s blessings. Her dignity as a princess and a queen was not affirmed by her proud ways, it was undermined.

The Bible says she never had children. It does not say God made her barren. The evidence suggests that David ignored her for the rest of her life. The greatest humiliation that could befall a woman of her time was not having children, and being a princess could not save her. She would have been far better off to humble herself before the Lord and the people of Israel than to be humbled.

At this time of the year, the world is more open to spiritual messages. Heaven seems especially close when we take the time to remember how God robed himself in flesh and condescended to become a helpless infant. Let's not get so caught up in the trappings of Christmas that we miss the point. Let’s welcome his glory into the world properly. Don’t forget to worship. Don’t forget to praise. Don’t forget to be humble before God's glory.

Lisa Karon Richardson has been creating stories since she was little. Influenced by books like The Secret Garden and The Little Princess her early books were heavy on boarding schools and creepy schoolmistresses. It took her awhile to figure our why Grandma thought it was unrealistic for boys and girls to share a room at a boarding house! Now that she’s (mostly) grown-up, she still loves a healthy dash of adventure and excitement in any story she creates, even her real-life story. She’s been a missionary to the Seychelles and Gabon and now that she and her husband are back in America, they are tackling a brand new adventure, starting a daughter-work church in a new city. Lisa can usually be found at her blog http://lisakaronrichardson.blogspot.com/ or making the contest rounds. She was a 2010 Genesis Finalist, 2010 Great Expectations first place winner, 2010 Daphne Du Maurier 3^rd place winner, and 2010 Duel on the Delta 3rd place winner.

Prayer, Praises, and Promises from God

"For the mountains may move

and the hills disappear,

but even then my faithful love

for you will remain.

My covenant of blessing will never be broken,”

says the Lord, who has mercy on you.

Isaiah 54:10

New Living Translation

As we lift each other up in prayer today, we hold firm to God's promise of unfailing love, and we acknowledge the specific requests of our sisters...

Becca - My prayer request is that God will continue to provide financially so I can stay home with my son. Thank you so much!

Jen A. - Please pray for my friend, Lynn, who is battling breast cancer, and for her husband, Billy. May God shower them with His grace, peace, and mercy.
 
Amen!

Do You Have a Prayer Request?

Take this most seriously:

A yes on earth is yes in heaven; a no on earth is no in heaven.

What you say to one another is eternal. I mean this.

When two of you get together on anything at all on earth

and make a prayer of it, my Father in heaven goes into action.

And when two or three of you are together because of me,

you can be sure that I'll be there.

Matthew 18: 18-20

The Message

We're taking prayer requests today. If you'd like prayer for something in your life or want to share how God has blessed you, you can do it in one of three ways:

• Leave a comment to the Tuesday post
• Use the "Share Your Story" form (this is the best way if you'd like to remain anonymous)
• Email me directly at jallee725 [at] hotmail [dot] com

Tomorrow I'll post the list of prayer requests and praises. This is just one more way we can join our hearts together. Blessings on your day!

Who Are You?

As a pastor's wife, my biggest problem with the 'job' is the title itself, I think. It's the idea that a title I only kind of chose (yes, I knew my husband was going to be a pastor, but didn't realize the title would define me) is what sticks most in some people's minds when they think of who I am.

And that's not all there is to me. It's not even the most important part of me. But sometimes it's easy to assume that people think of me that way and maybe that's primarily what I am.

But it's so not true! I'm a wife and mom before I'm a pastor's wife. That much I know for sure. But I'm also a writer, a teacher, a kayaker, a clarinetist. For some reason I feel compelled to define myself as a pastor's wife if people want to know "who I am", but that's really just taking the easy way out. The worst part, I think, is that I've probably blamed the church in the past for having all these expectations about who I was supposed to be and blah, blah, blah, when really sometimes I'M the only one defining myself in such a narrow way.

So how about you? Do you ever find yourself doing this (Think about it. I didn't realize I was for quite a while). And as we get to know each other through this blog, feel free to share some of who you are, no official church titles necessary. =)

Being a Wife vs. A Pastor’s Wife, Part II

Today's post is from Shauntae Brown White

A few weeks ago, I wrote about balancing home and church life. I concluded that in this season in my life, with two children and a profession outside of the home, I simply cannot be as active in church life as I am accustomed—though I am certainly very engaged now. I also had to figure out what my husband needed as a wife. From the beginning, he was always clear, “I don’t need a pastor’s wife. I need a wife.” It took me several years to understand what he really meant.

The clergy profession is unique because, usually, only the pastor is formally trained, been called and is paid by the church yet the call to pastoral leadership involves the whole family. Each couple will have to decide what works for them. For us, my decision to not be overly engaged in church life resonates with my husband’s needs. Specifically, I have learned this means to talk less about church life.

It took me years to understand my husband did not want to talk about church at home, or at least as much as I talked about it. He wanted a space to talk about, and engage in things not related to the church—current events, politics, what J. Anthony Brown said on the Tom Joyner Morning Show, or watching Pardon The Interruption for 30 minutes in peace. Though he does talk about ministry with me, I had to learn to follow his cue as to when that is. This is so contrary to my personality— if it’s on my mind now, I want to talk about it now. If I have a really great idea for ministry, I want to talk about it. If something is not working in ministry, I want to talk about it. After all, in addition to being a woman, who usually likes to talk about things, I am also a college professor and teach communication.

I’ve also had to learn how to respond when my husband is venting about ministry. I tend to be the optimist and for the first six years of our marriage, I wanted to show him the good things about ministry he was overlooking. Sometimes that response, or challenging him, is appropriate. At others, he is looking to have his experiences of “I am I the only one who sees this” validated. At others, I need to say nothing as he gets out his frustration, so that when he stands in the pulpit, at a business or deacon’s meeting he can be pastoral.
Being a pastor’s wife requires a certain skill set (I will save that for another blog), but being a wife requires that a woman understands what her husband needs. My husband needs space to talk and do things unrelated to ministry. I think I finally figured that out.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Shauntae Brown White lives in Raleigh, NC with her husband and two daughters. She has been a pastor's wife for 12 years

Eternal Hope

Today's post is from Maegan Roper

As Christians, we have a great reason to hope! John 1:1 proclaims that, In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. John 1:14 goes on to say, The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. The Word is Jesus, the living God! We know that everything Scripture tells us is true because it is not only from God, it is God, the Word.

For many reasons, the holidays always make it astoundingly evident that people are clinging to a hope deferred. Watching people empty their pocket books and energy on material things that will fade away and only temporarily ease their longing for circumstantial happiness, I was quietly reminded of Prov 13:12 that states "A hope deferred makes a man sick." In lighting the advent candle this Sunday in representation of hope, He reminded me that happiness is based on ease of circumstances. JOY, true, never-ending joy, is found in Christ alone.

What are we doing as His children to actively make sure that this everlasting hope, this bread of life, is made known to a world that is clinging to a hope deferred? When the prophet Isaiah foretold the birth of Christ, a new hope was born into the world; a hope that lives in us today. Christ in US, the hope of glory. We are walking, talking, living, breathing evidence of His eternal hope. Are we doing everything we can, sacrificing what we can, to make that known?

My husband and I obviously spend a lot of time with students. We love students. But, sometimes, they also make us want to hit a brick wall :) They’re faced with so many distractions that demand their focus and their energy that my husband especially feels like he can’t compete. He felt a bit that way last week when only 2 of his students showed up to help feed the homeless at a nearby shelter. Jeremy presented the statement before gearing up to get our hands dirty in the kitchen. “Remember that this isn’t about making ourselves feel good about doing something, it’s about sharing the hope of Christ to these men who feel like they have nothing left to hope in.” I definitely saw through the smiles and warm greetings of our kids that they got what Jeremy meant.

Our spiritual journey begins the moment we believe in this extraordinary hope, and lasts through all eternity. We have to invite others to open the Word, open their hearts, and begin this day in a deeper relationship with the only one that can satisfy.

How are you reminded of the hope we have in God’s Son this season?

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Maegan Harris Roper is the wife of a youth pastor, mother, worship leader, and full time Marketing and Publicity Manager. She and her husband Jeremy serve on staff at St. Paul Community Church in Nashville, TN where they do a little of everything, but focus on student ministry. Maegan is the proud mom of Emmalyn Brooke, who is 10 months old. When she’s not serving alongside her husband and adjusting to mommy hood, she’s working for a talented team of Christian fiction authors with Abingdon Press as their Marketing and PR Manager. She loves that her job combines faith, outreach, and great novels! She’s passionate about connecting to and encouraging other women both in and outside of the ministry and she often blogs on various missional, faith-based topics at her blog, A Different Remedy, http://www.maeganroper.blogspot.com/

Sharing Our Mustard Seed Faith

Jesus said, “How can I describe the Kingdom of God? What story should I use to illustrate it? It is like a mustard seed planted in the ground. It is the smallest of all seeds, but it becomes the largest of all garden plants; it grows long branches, and birds can make nests in its shade.”
Mark 4:30-32 (NLT)

Earlier this week, fellow author Rita Gerlach shared about her sister-in-law and her battle with cancer. Of course Rita is loving her and praying for her, but she went a step further. She gave her a concrete image of faith in action. I asked Rita if I could share it here, and she graciously said yes. Here's what she did:

A few weeks ago I took her a bottle with a mustard seed in it. I asked her to look and see what was in the bottle and she couldn't see the seed. So I told her empty it in her palm. When she saw the mustard seed she started to cry, and I told her that is all the faith God requires. The bottle sits on a table by her front door along with a container of mustard seeds. When someone has come to the house, the kids tell them about it and they can add their mustard seed of faith with hers

.Isn't that wonderful? Today, I'd like us all to put together our mustard seeds of faith and offer them to the Lord as we lift up our sisters and these prayer requests.

Rita Gerlach - Please pray for my sister in law, Mary Ann Quinn. She is the mother of seven, grandmother of nine, and the wife of a devoted deacon. Mary Ann has stage 3C breast cancer. Please pray for her healing. Thank you and God bless you.

Angela - Please pray for me, I feel like I am drowning under stress.

Jeanette Levillie - I have a good friend with 3 small children who is in an awful situation, can you please pray for her? Thanks!

Elaine - Prayer for myself w/ bronchitis....also having another thyroid test next week and praying it'll be o.k. Thanks so much.

Jen AlLee - Because of the medication I take for RA, I have my blood tested every three months. The last test came back showing I have an inflamed liver. I don't think it's anything too serious. My doctor told me to stop the meds and thinks that will take care of it. I go back in on the 23rd for my follow-up. I'd appreciate prayers that everything in my body gets in line and functions the way God intended! Thanks :+}

Amen, and blessings to you all!

If you have any prayer requests or praises today, please share them in the comment section so we can join in with you.

On A WHIM: Top 10 Skills for PWs During the Holidays

Top 10 Skills of a PW During the Holidays

Said pastor’s wife must:

1. Recreate the First Nativity, in life-size scale, for a silent witness in the parsonage front yard.

2. Incorporate the Twelve Days of Christmas into her baking and gift-giving schedule, taking special care with the partridge in a pear tree.

3. Live green with the motto of recycle, repurpose, reuse. Start by repurposing the silver tinsel as kitty dental floss.

4. Create a Christmas card list to include every church member, visitor, “used to be” members, and “meant to be” visitors. Being clairvoyant is an added skill set for this requirement.

5. Create a cookie recipe for each day of the advent calendar, ready for parsonage pop-in guests at any time of day or night. It’s highly offensive to serve day-old cookies to the president of the lap quilt guild.

6. Have a gift-wrapped present at the ready for any impromptu exchange, so that gift-bearers do not leave empty-handed.

7. Stock up on gifts that look impressive but cost less than a cup of coffee. (Regular, not Starbucks!)

8. Keep in mind every dietary restriction of every church attendee. Recipes should be gluten free, diabetic-friendly, lactose-free, low fat, low carb, yet high in taste. On a pastor’s salary.

9. Have a different party outfit appropriate for every holiday invitation between Thanksgiving and New Years. Can’t duplicate what anyone else is wearing. On a pastor’s budget.

10. Be willing to drop everything to be available for every beck and call from lonely members, fighting couples and stress-filled moms who need a listening ear during the blues-humbug of the season.

Seriously, what holiday expectations are you struggling to live up to? Is there anything you’re doing just because someone expects you to? Is there anything associated with being in ministry that hinders you from being able to simplify this Christmas season? What have you done to overcome the Christmas joy-killers that tend to creep into a minister’s home? How do you deal with a lack of funds for all the gifts, foods, and outfits you are required to have this time of year?

Here are some of my tips:

1. Simplify in areas that don’t get you jazzed so that you can spend more time, energy, focus, and funds on the projects you really enjoy.

2. Develop a gift-giving policy so that it’s fair to all involved.

3. Buy items on sale throughout the year to store for possible gifts and party favors.

4. Make homemade when you can. It’s often less money, and means more to the recipient.

5. Make sure you reserve time on the calendar for family, and protect that time from other obligations. Churches can learn to understand if you explain you have special family time planned.

6. Be intentional with your decorations. It doesn’t have to take all your time and money if you plan ahead. Consider collecting themes, and be on the lookout all year long. Once others know you collect certain items, they will grow your collection and it will make a decorating statement without breaking the budget.

7. Consider simplifying some meals to just appetizers and desserts rather than 3-course meals.

8. Collect crowd-pleaser recipes that are easy on your time and your wallet.

9. Say “no” to the unnecessaries. Sometimes, I don’t decorate a tree—I put out simple poinsettias instead. When we’re focused on directing multiple Christmas programs we aren’t home much and so we are careful with how we spend what time we have left.

10. Buy clothing at consignment stores. Also consider borrowing outfits from others. Avoid spending your limited funds on typical holiday outfits that have such a limited wearing time, unless it’s a classic style and you stay the same size from year to year.

Hope these tips help. Please share your own ideas, dilemmas and insights, concerning how ministers’ wives and others can cope with excessive holiday expectations from others. Use the comments below to add your thoughts.

KATHY CARLTON WILLIS

Today’s column is by Kathy Carlton Willis of the same named communications firm. Kathy gets jazzed shining God’s Light on others through relationships, ministry, and KCWC. She’s affiliated with Advanced Writers and Speakers Association as well CLASSeminars. Her articles have appeared in a variety of publications, including The Christian Pulse. She served in full-time local church ministry with her husband for over twenty-five years.
PERSONAL BLOG: http://imlivingoutloud.blogspot.com

PROFESSIONAL BLOG: http://kcwcomm.blogspot.com/

WEB: http://www.kathycarltonwillis.com/

Kathy speaks on a variety of subjects. Request a brochure like this one: http://bit.ly/b7KOXa

Share Your Prayer Requests and Praises - December 8

We're taking prayer requests today. If you'd like prayer for something in your life or want to share how God has blessed you, you can do it in one of three ways:

• Leave a comment to the Tuesday post
• Use the "Share Your Story" form (this is the best way if you'd like to remain anonymous)
• Email me directly at jallee725 [at] hotmail [dot] com

On Saturday, I'll post the list of prayer requests and praises. This is just one more way we can join our hearts together. Blessings on your week!

You Asked for It!

I love to see the raised eyebrows when I tell people how I became a P.W., and then hear the giggles when I warm them against imitating my methods.

My first year in college, a secret crush, Brad asked to accompany me home for Easter weekend. I dared to hope his interest in meeting my parents was deeper than talking fishing with Dad.

Kevin Levellie, another friend of Brad’s, pastored a small church in Fresno, where my folks lived. After Sunday evening worship, Brad and I popped over to Kevin’s home. I didn’t mean to leave Brad completely out of the conversation. But when I spied the bookshelf covering one wall of Kevin’s living room filled with authors I adored, I knew I’d found a soul-mate. We visited into the night, barely leaving Brad a chance to ask, “Kahlil Gibran who?”

Driving back to school the next morning, Brad suggested we pray for Kevin. Seems he thought a wife would cure Kevin’s loneliness.

Eager to impress Brad, I nearly sang, “All right! I’ll go first.”



Dear Lord, please lead a woman into Kevin’s life who will stand beside him, offering hope in the darkness and laughter in the bright times; who will help him pastor your sheep with tenderness, bringing out the best in him and them. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

Shortly after my show-offy prayer, Brad lost interest in me. Although confused and hurt, I accepted his explanation that he felt inferior because I had wheels and he didn’t.

Kevin and I started writing that spring. When I returned home for the summer, our friendship soared. By August, my ring finger danced in the Fresno sun, clad in a diamond bikini.

Before the wedding, I imagined marriage to Kev as one eternal Bible Study, with meals in between. After I came home from work, we’d sit for hours discussing spiritual matters. If Kevin became disheartened over church issues, I’d encourage him and send him back into the battle with renewed confidence. It never entered my naive brain what kinds of circumstances might cause his despair.

After thirty-five years of marriage, I confess we have engaged in as many battles as Bible studies. Our conversations have not always been spiritual. And I have needed as much or more cheer leading as Kevin.

To complicate things further, you won’t find me on the cover of “Ideal Pastor’s Wife Weekly.” I never learned to play piano. I don’t lead the choir. I have even argued with my husband in the middle of a sermon or two.


And my house? It’s the global convention center for cobwebs. I refuse to cook a recipe with more than five ingredients, and I sweep the kitchen floor by sliding across it in my stocking feet. Every bed and recliner has its own cat, whom I treat like children in fur suits.

In spite of my numerous faults and unconventional ways, God blessed me with a man I love and admire. Oh, and he happens to be a preacher. Who am I to look the Great I AM in the face and say, “You bungled the day you called me, Lord. I’m too silly, loud, impulsive, and messy to make a decent pastor’s wife.”

He would only smile and say, “You asked for a wife for Kevin, didn’t you?”

Do God’s methods of answering prayer baffle you? Has He ever used you to answer your own prayer?



ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Jeanette Levellie is an author, speaker, wife, mother, and grandmother. She lives with her pastor husband and three recliners-full of cats in Paris, IL.  Find her on Facebook and her personal blog at Audience of ONE

Marriage Monday

Find Your Peace Before You Speak

by Niki Turner

Yesterday in church my darling husband punctuated at least a third of his sentences with the phrase, "Know what I mean?" 

I was tempted to start making tally marks in my notebook, but I refrained. The pastor at our parent church used to jingle the change in his pocket while he preached. It drove his wife crazy. In the spirit of believing the best of all of you, I expect none of you are EVER irritated, embarrassed, or annoyed by anything your husbands do, right?

patersor via Flickr

My urge to tally up my husband's repetitive phrasing stems from my own selfish nature. Had I yielded to it and come after him from that place of irritation, I would have been setting the stage for a battle royale. I would have hurt his feelings, bruised his ego, and given the enemy of our souls a place to dig away at my husband's confidence as a minister of the Gospel. How do I know? Because I've done it before.

If we are irritated, aggravated, or annoyed by something our husbands do, it's our responsibility to grab our own souls by the collar and deal with our emotional reactions before we attempt to communicate with them. Why? Because when I allow irritation to dictate my actions, I'm not walking in love.

Usually, when I deal with my own heart first, I realize my frustration and aggravation has no real substance. It's just me, being cranky, hormonal, or supersensitive. Other times, once I've cleared out the choking cloud of annoyance, I find a real issue that needs to be addressed -- not for MY sake, but for my husband's sake. At those times, finding peace with myself, with God, and with my husband before I speak up is crucial! Having a calm heart and a gentle tongue allows me to approach the subject with the right motivation, and opens my husband's heart to receive what I have to say.

She opens her mouth with wisdom, And on her tongue is the law of kindness.

Prov 31:26 NKJV

A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, But perverseness in it breaks the spirit.

Prov 15:4 NKJV

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Prov 15:1 NIV

Someday, (I hope) I'll be mature enough in Christ that my husband's quirky pulpit habits won't distract me from his message. In the meantime, I'll strive to keep my mouth shut until I've purged myself of those childish responses!

About the Author:

Niki Turner has been a pastor's wife for twelve years at a small church in rural Northwestern Colorado. She and her husband have four children, are soon-to-be grandparents, and have been married for 20 years.

Niki writes fiction, blog posts, articles for the local newspaper, grocery lists, and Facebook status updates. She can be found at her own blog, In Truer Ink, on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays in addition to posting here and at Inkwell Inspirations.

Special Prayer Project: For Those Battling Cancer

A few days ago, I received a message from my friend, Sara. Here's what she had to say:

As many of you know I am a cancer survivor and once again I have become a cancer fighter. As I twitter my thumbs waiting for a start date for treatment my kids and I developed a campaign. "Think to Shrink!"


At 10am and 10pm every day, take time to think about someone you love who has a cancerous tumor - think hard about that tumor shrinking. Pray hard about that tumor shrinking. Heavenly Father, _________has a tumor that needs to shrink. Your powerful hands Lord have the power and might. You ask us to pray boldly, so we do. Lord, shrink the tumor and make it die. Restore health. In Jesus name we pray.


So friends, help me and many others by joining this campaign "Think to Shrink!" Pass along to others.

Today, I'm inviting all of you to join with together and pray for someone who is battling cancer. It's safe to say we all know someone. I am lifting up Sara and Robin.

I'm also offering up praise and thanksgiving for the miracle happening in the life of my friend, Maura. Some of you may remember her earlier post about making peace with cancer. Well, it seems God's not done with her yet! Her most recent blood work and other myriad tests show no signs of cancer in her body. Essentially, she's in remission (although that's not what they call it with this particular type of cancer... but the outcome is the same). This is a miracle! While the doctors say it could reoccur at any time, all of her friends and family are praying that won't be the case. Praise God for His grace and goodness!

If you have any special prayer requests, please share them here so we can all join together and support each other.

Amen!

Trust Fall Into Oblivion: Burnout, Part 2

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a post on burnout and mentioned that I'd been through it myself. I know that I'm not the only pastor in the world to go through it, and I talked to a couple of my friends who'd been through similar situations. I noticed, oddly enough, that our contexts had some pretty glaring similarities.

** We were all on staffs that didn't value our work. Not that the people were mean to us or actively worked against us. My friend Cathy calls this "benign neglect." Where people are very nice, but *no one* is paying attention to anything besides themselves. This happens a lot on bigger staffs where there's a lot of "silo-ing". If you don't know what "silos" are in reference to church, ask me and I'll write about it in my next post. But in general, it means that no one cares what's going on in anyone else's area.

Why is this bad? In the corporate world and the larger culture, we're taught to be independent, to do thing for ourselves, to not need other people. But God created us for community, and not just in the larger sense of living with others. He created us to function the best when we work *and* play *and* rest together. There's a reason why, for instance, God set aside one day where we would all honor the Sabbath together, and it's not so we can each lay in our individual recliners and watch TV. It's so that in all things, we would reflect the communal nature of our Triune God, and be integrated.

** For whatever reason, we didn't trust the church we worked at. This showed up in some of us as paranoia, and in others of us just in a lack of openness. But in all of us, we had trust issues. We'd all had reasons to be untrusting of our leadership. For instance, one of us had an oversight Board who would regularly kick them out of meetings so the Board could discuss their "job performance" and the person never knew if they would still have their job at the end of the meeting. Another of us had Board members who would schedule random meetings and yell at them for things they'd done wrong. Another of us asked an innocent question in a meeting where they apparently shouldn't have, and from then on, was ostracized from their staff. Another of us worked for a Narcissist who would belittle them in staff meetings. And the list goes on and on. The long and the short: We had reasons not to trust the people we worked for, but we continued to work for them.

Why is this bad? The prevailing myth in our culture is that we just have to "power through" when things like this happen. Don't trust someone at work? Don't worry about it. Just do your job. That's what we're told. But the problem is, a lack of trust will eat away at you. Eventually, you'll find yourself being paranoid. Or the sheer will of going in to work every day will destroy your ability to work and you'll burn out.

** We didn't want to socialize at work. I'm not talking about having your best friend in the office next door. I'm talking about being excited to have the Staff Christmas party. Or spending time appreciating the fact that you work with good people. Or just stopping by to chit-chat with someone on the way into the office, or the way out of the office.

Why is this bad? Once again, none of us fet like we hated the people we worked with, or that they hated us, but we just didn't want to be there. We didn't feel connected to anyone there. Disconnecting (or being disconnected) from work relationships is a sign that you don't feel welcome there, and you don't feel like welcoming anyone. Once again, God did not create us to work like this. He made us to be brothers and sisters in love. He made us to reflect the relational nature of His trinity. He made us to be in communion with each other. Not to come in to the office, put our head down, get our work done, and leave. That might be the ideal for corporate America, but that's not a person. It's a robot! We are people, and we're people everywhere we go. We need community like oxygen. That's how God made us.

Sensing a pattern here?

All of my friends (and coworkers) who've experienced burnout had something important in common: a lack of Biblical community on their staff. Now, I'm not saying we should turn staff meetings into therapy sessions, or that senior pastors need to check on their staff people every minute of every day. In all things, balance. But we need to take seriously the commands to love one another, to pray for one another, to serve one another, to enjoy and fellowship with one another! Especially in Christian communities.

Not only is true Biblical community one of the antidotes to burnout among pastors, it's the antidote to burnout in all things. Marriage, work, parenting, friendship, service... everything. God made us in His image, and He is three persons in one. The relational community of the trinity is a mystical and beautiful thing, and it's a model for us in how we should be relating to other Christians that we're in community with.

If you're interested in studying this theology further, I can recommend a couple of fantastic books. One is The Great Dance: The Christian Vision Revisited and the other is Economy of Love: Creating a Community of Enough. The theology of giving of onesself in order to reflect God is as old as human thought. But it's seeing a resurgence lately, and I'm happy to see it.

We need to remember to give ourselves away. Not just because it'll prevent burnout, but because God commanded it. And if we're in a community where we can't give of ourselves (not our works, our money, or our time, but our SELF), and others can't/won't give themselves to us, maybe we're not in the right place. Maybe it's time to shake the dust off our heels and find our new home.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Rebecca Lynn is a Music Pastor at a thriving church in the Mountain West. She recently finished her Master of Arts in Transformational Leadership at Bethel Seminary in St. Paul, MN. She is an author, speaker, leadership coach, and consultant who specializes in self-leadership and communications.

A Great Gift Idea - Autographed Books from 75 Christian Authors!

The winner of Your Best You by Bonnie Grove is Grace J, and today's winner of my novel, The Pastor's Wife, is Jeanette L.Congratulations!

And now, if you're looking for special Christmas gifts, I can't think of anything better than books chosen for that certain someone and personally inscribed. If that sounds good to you, check out this amazing event.

75 Christian Authors

One Amazing Online Event

The Christian Review of Books in conjunction with CrossPurposes Bookstore is excited to announce the first annual Christmas Book Signing Bash.

Beginning on the day after Thanksgiving and lasting ten days (26 November- 7 December), this book signing will be an unprecedented online event. Seventy-five of today’s favorite Christian Authors have come together to answer questions, chat with their readers, and offer signed copies of their books—all without you leaving the comforts of home and hearth! Readers can search by author, title, or genre at the Christian Review of Books and then follow the purchase links to CrossPurposes Bookstore and buy autographed copies of each book featured. The authors will sign the books and ship them to the customers. For a full list of participating authors, visit the CRoB.

(In case you're curious, you can find my book by clicking here. Happy hunting!)

I've Got It!

I think I finally may have figured out my problem. Sometime in the last two weeks I managed to get a little more clarity on what I talked about in my last post about pastor's wives and close friends. After my explanation here, I wallowed for a couple more days (who doesn't enjoy a good wallowing?) and then finally it hit me.

I needed to get over myself.

I'm not saying that's always the case in this situation. I think some of my feelings were legitimate and all of yours may be. I'm not sure, because I don't know every situation y'all are facing out there. But for me, it was partially my fault.

To have friends, you have to be a friend. I know. It's only one of the oldest proverbs "He who would have friends must show himself friendly" or something like that. For some reason this wasn't clicking for me. Our church has mostly older congregation members, and I need to be doing something to get to know them better. But there are also some members very close to my age. In fact, there's one woman I went to college with, even though we didn't know each other well, and another that I worked as a lifeguard with before I graduated from high school. I have two people, right there at my church (what a crazy place to find friends, right?) who actually do think of me as something other than a pastor's wife, and I've been ignoring the possible friendships right in front of my face. I'm friends with these ladies already (or I probably would have completely lost it by now), but why can't I be closer friends with them? They've actually shown in several ways that they're open to that. It's been me pushing them away.

So for Black Friday, I invited one of them to go shopping with me. I'm not one of those incredibly gifted/insane people who shops all night, but we did meet up just after four. You know what? There's nothing like four am to help you get to know someone better. And even though I've napped half of the days since Black Friday (clearly, I'm not meant to get up that early) I had a great time and this woman and I have been closer since then. In fact, I'll probably see if she wants to do something else before Christmas, though there's no way it will be that early in the morning.

My point here is that maybe you're struggling for friends for a legitimate reason. Sometimes that's true. But think--are there any people in your life who do actually seem to be reaching out for you who you're ignoring or pushing away? Consider whether or not it might be worth it to pursue a deeper friendship with them. Maybe God is answering your prayers and the answer is just right in front of you. But I'll keep praying--for me and for you--that we'll find true, deep friendships and that God will give us the wisdom to see it when He brings them into our lives.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Sarah Varland is a book-loving, outdoorsy pastor's wife from Georgia. When she’s not doing glamorous pastor’s wife duties, like squashing bugs and refilling toilet paper rolls, she loves to write, read, kayak and spend time with her husband and son. You can read more of her thoughts on life, books, and the ministry fishbowl at espressoinalatteworld.blogspot.com