Tuesday, January 18, 2011

My Secret Offerings


Rats. I had forgotten to bring my secret offering. As the communion music ended, I opened my purse to find a single wheat back penny. I had saved wheat backs for years, hoping to cash them in someday for a large profit. I figured by the time I was eighty my collection would be worth say, fifty cents or a dollar. My investment savoir-faire amazed me.

It’s not that I begrudge you this wheat back, Lord, I thought. But, what about the deacon who sees me put it in the plate? I’d hate him to think I’m cheap. You wouldn’t want that to happen would you, Lord? Since I’m the preacher’s wife, I should maintain some dignity here, don’t You think?

No answer.

Several months earlier, the Lord had nudged me to bring an offering whenever I attended church. He didn’t specify an amount. He only asked that I bring something in addition to my tithe, every time.

The first few weeks, I obeyed with ease. I usually had an extra dollar or two in my wallet. If not, I could rummage around the house before church and find a bill or coin to bring.

My obedience soon grew horns of smugness. Not only was I giving extra each week, I was giving in secret. Wow. I impressed myself with my devotion to the Lord. Until this Sunday.

Lord, I’m the minister’s wife. Won’t me putting a penny in the plate set a poor example?

Still no answer. Finally I slipped the penny onto the crimson felt and bowed my head, pretending to appear nonchalant.
I’d love to tell you that since that day, numerous strangers have flagged me down on the street to put hundred dollar bills in my hand, or sent me cards bursting with checks.

Instead, I received a greater blessing. A corner of my heart was set free.


I’ve always longed to obey the Lord. Do whatever He told me, without question. I’d prayed many times, “Lord, give me an obedient heart. Help me follow you.” But I had a chain around my soul. I worried what people thought of me. Especially people in our church. Because we were their pastors, I secretly believed that their opinion of me was important.

I cared too much for their respect. And not enough for God’s approval. Now He was asking me to toss down my pride by giving him a penny. One cent. It was worth at most, five cents to a coin dealer. Much more to Him who saw my secret motives.

At last, I relented. I let go of the wheat back, and my worry. As the penny landed on the pile of bills, my fear landed at Jesus’ feet, replaced with surrender. A new joy burst into my heart: the joy of obedience.

If I ever become wealthy and the Lord asks me to give it all away, I trust I will obey without a blink. After all, it’s only money. Not worth a cent compared to the offering of an obedient heart.


Do you find joy in giving?
What do you most love to give: time, work, gifts, or encouragement?





ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Jeanette Levellie is an author, speaker, wife, mother, and grandmother. She lives with her pastor husband and three recliners-full of cats in Paris, IL.  Find her on Facebook and her personal blog at Audience of ONE


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16 comments:

  1. Oh, Jen, why do we let others opins bother us so much when God's is the only one that really matters? How faulty and smug I am, too! Thanks for your honest posts. Good for me.
    cb
    http://sunnebnkwrtr.blogspot.com

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  2. What a good post. I need this kind of heart too. I do love to give and bless others, but I want it to come naturally and flow as His spirit flows in me. And without smugness. :) Thanks so much, Jen!
    Blessings,
    Karen

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  3. Caroline: I don't know about you, but I let them botther me becuase I am way too impressed with others! Just being honest here...

    Karen: Thanks for your encouragement, honey.

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  4. Hi Jen -

    Some think obeying God puts us into bondage, but it doesn't. When we surrender control of our lives, we're set free from fear, the opinions of others, and learn He's trustworthy.

    Now, if I can only pry my fingers from a couple of situations and give them to Him...

    Blessings,
    Susan :)

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  5. Oh SO true. Our hearts should be ready to give on every occasion. We act like little kids with a pack of gum who are asked to share with our siblings... like there will never be another pack of gum in our hands again!
    God saw that wheat-back penny and received it... wonder what the exchange rate is in heaven? : )

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  6. I remember those pennies! I think I still have a few somewhere.

    But I know even better what you're talking about. Sigh. Deep, deep sigh. I do love this story.

    What do I like to give? Words of encouragement, that's what!

    Love you.

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  7. Susan: Oh me too, dear one! Casting my care is a daily thing.

    Mary: Thanks!

    Niki: I have thought that myself, that God is able to give me far more than what I think I'm giving up.

    Rhonda: Yes, you are an encourager par excellence!

    Love you guys--
    Jen

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  8. Very nice Jeannette. I have to assume that others will judge me because, to have those thoughts, I must be judging others.

    I do my tithes electronically. Automatic Withdrawal. Hence I never put a regular offering in that plate. Sometimes I want to stand up and say, okay, I know what you're thinking and then ask our elder, the bank president, to stand up and speak on my defense. Part of me wants to at least tell the usher! ha ha.

    This tells me that I would likely judge someone else if I noticed them 'never' putting in a regular offering. Thank God, He is a kind instructor most of the time.

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  9. This touches my heart Jen! Your willingness to listen to the Lord has earned you far more return on that penny. It's taught others a valuable lesson as well. One day in Heaven you'll get the 'Best penny ever spent' award!

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  10. I love your spirit Jen! A lovely heart before the Lord, is an obedient one. You nudged a thread in me that I need to bring before the Lord. Hmm, thanks for that.

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  11. I struggle with feeling I don't have enough to give, or give enough. Thanks for nudging me to ask God what he wants me to give.

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  12. I find it easiest to give encouragement. But my word for the year is Time--the hardest for me to give. I hope by 2012 I can say I am far less selfish with my time.

    Thank your for the openness of this post. God used it to speak to me.

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  13. Debra: I hear you; we long so much to be validated by people, when God is applauding, and that should be enough.

    T Anne: I can't wait for that DAY!!! Love you.

    Tamika: Why thank you, dear. I know He will speak to your heart.

    Lynn: The Lord will give you seed, honey.

    Pamela: Wow, that's food for thought. I need to give more time, too! My word for 2011 is Faith.

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  14. I am currently working on not allowing other people's opinion stop me from doing God's will. It is a relief!

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  15. I love this story and your heart and voice shine through!

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