Returning from Exile

My husband and I are finishing up a very trying time, leaving the church he has served for four years, leaving a congregation and town where we never really fit in, and moving back to the area where we have friends and family and feel at home.

In my propensity toward melodrama, I’ve likened our experience over the past few years to the Israelites’ exile in Babylon. (A little melodramatic, as I said, but it was a meaningful comparison for me spiritually.) I’ve read Jeremiah 29-31 many times, internalizing the message that while we should make a home and bear children in exile, we should take hope that this difficult time is not forever and God would eventually bring them back to the Promised Land. We conceived, birthed, and raised one child into a rambunctious toddler in that house, and conceived another one (hoping, but not knowing for sure, that we’d be in a better place by the time s/he was born). And now we’re returning, moving into our own home and starting at a new church in a month or so.

I am so thankful for this change, though I’m anxious with the awareness that no situation is perfect. While things should be so much better here for each of us personally and for our marriage, I should not delude myself that this new location is a cure-all. I am disappointed with myself for never fully coming to terms with our situation, for trying and trying to accept and love that place and people and never succeeding, and so I know that not just our location but I need to change.

So, I’m seeking inspiration from Israel’s story again. In Ezra and Nehemiah, they return from exile to the Promised Land. So far, I don’t see the home-based advice they got from Jeremiah as comfort during their captivity—build houses, plant gardens, get married, have children. And perhaps that’s all a given when you land where you want to be. You can’t wait to set up the house, stock the fridge, and invest even more in your family.

Rather, the focus of Ezra and Nehemiah is on rebuilding God’s house in the Promised Land. Perhaps the Israelites were simply more devout than I (I’m pretty sure this is the case), or perhaps they needed the reminder not to get so overjoyed at returning that they focus solely on themselves. According to Ezra 1:1-3, God told King Cyrus to build a temple for God in Jerusalem, so Cyrus sent some of the Israelites back home to do just that. So I guess they didn’t have much choice in making the Temple top priority upon their return!

I’m wary of overpersonalizing Scripture. (I’m pretty sure I’ve done that enough with just the whole exile comparison.) So I’m not going to carry this metaphor so far as to build a temple to God in my new neighborhood. I don’t think the homeowners’ association would really appreciate that. But I am going to focus on my own devotion to God, restoring my own sense of worship that has been fractured and embittered these last few years. Whether this new church is a better fit or not, I need to take responsibility for my own spiritual growth. I need to rebuild God’s Temple in my own heart, to worship and give thanks not just for this joyous return, but for all that God is, in every time and every place.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Jessica Miller Kelley is a working mom and pastor’s wife in Tennessee. Her husband, Matt, is a United Methodist pastor, and their daughter Kate is the rambunctious toddler who lights up their lives. She blogs about motherhood, books, and church issues at The Parsonage Family (http://www.mattandjesskelley.blogspot.com/).