I opened my Sunday school class with a confession. “Am I the only one who isn’t enjoying this study? I look at the book title, “Me and My Big Mouth,” and I want to throw it out the window. I’d rather scrub my kitchen floor than discover that complaining is a sin. I entered the world complaining to the doctor because the delivery room was too cold. I could probably win a blue ribbon at the state fair for the most gripes in an hour. ”
Mary Lou laughed her loudest. “That’s why I love this class, Jeanette.”
“Why, because your teacher has an awful time getting her tongue in order?”
“No. Because you’re honest enough to admit it. We feel comfortable with you when you share your human side. We know you’re just like us, struggling with the same issues. ”
This wasn’t the first time I’d opened my murky soul and shared the ugliness inside with these ladies. Once a month we spent our Sunday school time praying for our families and each other. I often found myself sharing my blunders and disappointments with my Heavenly Father in their presence. They knew how impatient I became when customers at work had stupid requests; how I condemned myself when one of my kids made a poor choice; how I struggled to submit to my husband’s leadership.
And they loved me anyway. I like to think they loved me more than if I’d pretended I never took a wrong turn.
Before I became a pastor’s wife, I wouldn’t have dreamed that sharing my faults could make someone happy. Didn’t people expect a leader to set a perfect example? Didn’t they want the pastor’s wife to show them how easy it was to walk in all the fruit of the spirit? Didn’t they need a model saint who never yelled at her kids or had a tacky thought? Maybe not.
Perhaps these ladies find my candor refreshing. They see that although I’m a leader, I stumble like they do. They may think, “If there’s hope for Jeanette, God can fix me, too.”
If my transparency can give someone hope, I’m okay with sharing my messes. As writer and editor Jim Watkins likes to say, “I’m a mess and you’re a mess. Thank God we have a Messiah.”
“Nutty with a dash of meat” best describes Jeanette Levellie’s speaking, writing and life. She has published hundreds of humor/inspirational columns, articles, greeting cards, and poems. A spunky pastor’s wife, Jeanette is the mother of two, grandmother of three, and waitress to four cats. Find her mirthful musings at www.jeanettelevellie.com
The Pastor's Wife Speaks is a safe place for women living on the front lines of ministry to share and support each other. But you don't have to be married to a pastor to hang out here. Regardless of how you're connected to ministry, you are welcome. Enjoy and be blessed!
I love this! It's taken a long time for me to learn that transparency trumps perceived perfection when building relationships. Thank you for sharing this Jeanette.
ReplyDeleteEeek! I have to submit? *grin* Great post, Jeanette. Hope I can meet you in person someday. :-)
ReplyDeleteI love this! Thank you for your transparency!
ReplyDeleteAmen! I think when you are in leadership, transparency is key to help others. One of my friends is in the process of becoming a pastor's wife, and at the beginning, I used to think, "I don't know how she's going to be a pastor's wife." But now I see God refining her and her also slipping up but continuing to press forward.
ReplyDeleteLinda: I think those who really want to grow alongside you will appreciate you saying, "I struggle--let's learn how to overcome together," rather than pretending to be perfect.
ReplyDeleteJessica: Oh, I'd love to meet you, too!
Jennifer: Thanks for the kudos.
TiAnna Mae: I'd like to have a heart to heart with every soon-to-be P.W., to help them focus their energies on pleasing the Shepherd rather than the sheep.
Jeanette:
ReplyDeleteOur pastor's wife told the whole church in a meeting that she and her husband had had fights over a certain issue that would affect her and the whole church. I commended her for her transparency.
You have made a valid point here. No one is exempt from struggles or doubts.
That frazzled cat is hysterical!
ReplyDeleteIn my grandparents' generation manse families were assumed to have their problems and weaknesses under control because, after all, didn't they have a special relationship with God? Today's congregations seems to have a more realistic view of their church leaders, partly because people like you have been willing to open themselves to scrutiny, to be honest and transparent about their feelings and failures. We aren't any different from the people to whom we minister; we just know where our strength and salvation come from. Thanks for sharing this, Jen.
"focus their energies on pleasing the Shepherd rather than the sheep"
ReplyDeleteGreat words of wisdom and the reminder does my heart good. HE is the only one I need to strive to please.
Quiet: Good for her! I'm sure you loved her all the better.
ReplyDeleteCarol: Yes, times and people have changed.
Mommagrace: Thank you. You know I'm preaching to myself, right?
Hi Jen -
ReplyDeleteLove this post and your choice of graphics both here and at your blog.
Even the Bible says the tongue is hard to tame. No one will ever take me for perfect, but I'd be thrilled to be viewed as mature (which is what the word refers to in Scripture).
Blessings,
Susan :)
I think we would be great friends if we lived closer together.....I love it when women are real and transparent with their struggles...It is very encouraging to others....I appreciate you so much and your open and honest approach to life....Scripture says "problems such as common to all"...We are all in this together and I think our part is to encourage others when the opportunity arises and get encouraged when we are in need of some.....Iron sharpening iron.....
ReplyDeleteYou are such a blessings.....
I agree. It feels like a burden has been taken off one's shoulders...
ReplyDelete