I stood at the window and wished misunderstandings could dissolve as easily. Not long ago one of our church members had spoken to me about a hurtful comment from another member. It likely hadn’t been intentionally unkind, but it caused the person to consider leaving the church. Why is the pastor’s wife the one people confide in? My husband’s the one trained for this. I hate being in the middle of conflicts. My stomach tilts, my palms go damp and diplomatic words elude me. “Oh, please give me your words, Lord!”
God is always faithful. Though I don’t recall them later, words did come, wrapped in compassion born of love, and I left the rest to Him. I don’t understand why there is unpleasantness and discord in His church; only He knows the hearts of His people and His plans for them.
The morning fog reminded me of The Message’s
version of 1 Corinthians 13:12 – “We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!”A little mist on a lazy holiday morning isn’t a big deal. But in relationships, fog-shrouded vision can cause distorted communication and misunderstandings. Lack of correct focus can blur the edges of common sense. With singleness of purpose we must try to walk in the light of God’s love and strive to develop and apply the fruits of the spirit* in all our relationships.
~ ~ ~
“Peace to the brethren, and love with faith, from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. Grace be with all those who love our Lord Jesus Christ in sincerity.” [Ephesians 6:23-24]
* “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance.” [Galatians 5:22-23a]
Carol J. Garvin is the wife of a retired Presbyterian pastor, mother of four and grandmother to several more. Her life has been a wonderful mixture of school teaching, church and family activities, owning a professional dog show business, and freelance writing. She and her husband live in a rural suburb of Vancouver, Canada.
Blog: http://careann.wordpress.com/
Facebook: http://on.fb.me/mBj1F7
Twitter: @caroljgarvin
The Pastor's Wife Speaks is a safe place for women living on the front lines of ministry to share and support each other. But you don't have to be married to a pastor to hang out here. Regardless of how you're connected to ministry, you are welcome. Enjoy and be blessed!
Clarity is a wonderful gift. It most often appears when we focus on Jesus, not on ourselves. Thank you for a poignant reminder.
ReplyDeleteOur minister actually spoke about this very subject today. She said many people leave the church because of some comment made by another person. It's a very valid point.
ReplyDeletePerhaps if people went to the person as scripture teaches, the misunderstanding could be cleared up.
ReplyDeleteThe enemy of our souls loves to divide and conquer. It takes a humble spirit and thinking the best of one's brother or sister in Christ to handle things rather than walk away.
Thanks for joining in today's conversation. It seems that when feelings get hurt, seeing the situation from the other person's point of view is especially difficult. Judith's comment puts a better perspective on it and Susan's suggestion is right on. Laura, it really does emphasize the importance of being thoughtful about our words, doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteWonderful words that gave me time to pause and reflect on how many times I've judged, yet sinned. Nicely put, Carol.
ReplyDeleteHard things, these misunderstandings. If we can find the courage inside to talk to the person who wounded us, it can make a world of difference. I'm grateful the one who confided in you opted not to leave the church. That is the saddest thing to me - to break community over a misunderstanding that might have been cleared up if he/she had been brave enough to gently confront. HARD to do that though, isn't it?? Thanks for this thoughtful post, Carol.
ReplyDeleteLike accidents, misunderstandings are preventable if only we had a little foresight and could see them as our Lord would.
ReplyDeleteDiana, you're so right about it taking courage.
They come to you because you are kind and compassionate-----and full of wisdom my friend. Beautifully written...
ReplyDeleteThank you, Katt. You are always the one offering a compassionate and helping hand to those around you, so your words of praise bless me.
ReplyDelete