Hiding in a Crowd



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 I’ve already admitted to not being the conventional pastor’s wife. (If you missed that confession you’ll find it here.)  So I guess it won’t be a huge surprise to learn I’m also an introvert – a rather private person and loner. I’m less of a sit-on-the-front-porch-and-chat-with-the-neighbors kind of person, and more of a sit-on-the-back-deck-or-garden-behind-the-hedge sort.

So how does such a person reconcile the desire for privacy with her inevitable involvement in church activities? My solution was to learn how to hide in a crowd. Rather than stand around at gatherings where I risked being a target for conversation, I quickly disappeared into behind-the-scenes activities where interaction wasn’t an essential ingredient.

You might have found me up to my elbows in potato peelings prior to a church dinner, or washing dishes afterwards. I could be babysitting in the nursery, on my knees weeding the flowerbeds, labeling books in the library or putting together the monthly newsletter. They were all legitimate jobs that needed attention… as well as being on-the-fringe situations where I was comfortable.

At congregational dinners I sat between my husband and one of our children, and at coffee hours and group meetings I gravitated to those I knew from previous experience could carry any conversation with minimal help from me.

The trouble was, while I willingly hid in the background, I missed opportunities to push out of my comfort zone and grow.

When I began my own business and became the sole person making decisions involving hundreds of people, I soon learned via the sink-or-swim method how to cope with what had once seemed incredibly difficult. I discovered the truth of the it-becomes-easier-with-practice axiom, and the scripture that promises God will be with us in every situation.*

I’m still an introvert, but I’ve learned it’s possible to find an acceptable middle ground at church. For instance, music is one of my loves, and when I stepped a short distance out of my shell, God led me into the music program. Despite not liking the limelight, I agreed to direct the choir. At least it was something I could do with my back to the congregation, and, like an ostrich, I could almost believe I was invisible to everyone except my choristers.

We aren’t all asked to take leadership roles but we are called to make the best possible use of our strengths and abilities. God knows our hearts, our needs and our limitations. Hanging back is rejecting his call to service. If we’ll let him, he’ll guide us to the place where we can best serve him, and he’ll support us there whether it’s in the midst of the crowd, or on its fringe.

What forms of service have you been led into? Are they within your ‘comfort zone’ or do they require some stretching?

~

* “But I'll take the hand of those who don't know the way, who can't see where they're going. 
I'll be a personal guide to them, directing them through unknown country. I'll be right there to show them what roads to take, make sure they don't fall into the ditch. These are the things I'll be doing for them—sticking with them, not leaving them for a minute.” [Isaiah 42:16
- The Message]

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Carol J. Garvin is the wife of a retired Presbyterian pastor, mother of four and grandmother to several more. Her life has been a wonderful mixture of school teaching, church and family activities, owning a professional dog show business, and freelance writing. She and her husband live in a rural suburb of Vancouver, Canada.

Blog: http://careann.wordpress.com/
Facebook: http://on.fb.me/mBj1F7

Twitter: @caroljgarvin