Whose team are you on? {Marriage Monday}

by Niki Turner

(Husband comes in after work, throws his jacket and briefcase on the sofa.)
HUSBAND: You won't believe what happened today, honey. So-and-so walked into my office and accused me of losing those books I was using to study from last week.
WIFE: Well, did you lose them?
HUSBAND: (defensive) No, I didn't lose them.
WIFE: Then where are they?
HUSBAND: How should I know? I put them back in the church library.
WIFE: Are you sure? You know how forgetful you are.
HUSBAND: I'm leaving. I can't even get any respect in my own home. (storms out)

This wife chose the wrong team. By aligning herself with her husband's accuser, she immediately created a rift in her marriage. Now it's Team Wife v. Team Husband in the same household, and that doesn't bode well for anyone.

"However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him,  venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly.]"

Ephesians 5:33 Amplified

I'll admit, there are days when just reading that verse makes my toes curl up in my shoes. But Paul's words here are a description of what it means to be on the same team, not in opposition against one another, not competing with or battling our spouse for power or control or even for the right to be right. One of our longest arguments started over whether a pound of liquid weighs the same amount as a pound of solid matter. We both wanted to be right. But as soon as we got in strife over it, we were both wrong.

Let's make sure we're on the right team ... Team Marriage. One unit, together, through thick and thin, good and bad, not berating one another, but building each other up. Offering acceptance, approval, and unconditional love, a safe place to land after a hard day.



About the Author: Niki writes fiction, blog posts, articles in the local newspaper, grocery lists, and Facebook status updates. She can be found at her own blog, In Truer Ink, in addition to posting here and at The Pastor's Wife Speaks. She was a 2009 finalist in the Faith, Hope, and Love "Touched by Love" contest. She and her husband pioneered a church plant in 1998 and pastored that church until 2011 before turning the work over to another couple. Nowadays, she's enjoying being a grandma to her first grandbaby and waiting to see what God has in store for the next season of life!