Author Missy Tippens: Patience from the Holy Spirit

Today's guest is Love Inspired author (and pastor's wife) Missy Tippens. Make sure to leave a comment for a chance to win a copy of her latest novel!

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
Galatians 5:22

Patience: Something those working in ministry really need. :)

As I started doing a little reading about the 5th chapter of Galatians, I found it interesting that the commentaries said that Paul is talking about a singular fruit. Rather than talking about character qualities of individuals, he’s talking about the way in which the Spirit’s work is made manifest in community. The commentary said he’s talking about the peaceful and community-building character of the Sprit’s work.

First a couple of definitions of patience:

One commentary said patience is the opposite of “fits of rage” or short temper. It’s the quality of staying with people even when constantly wronged and irritated by them.

Another source said patience is the quality of being long-suffering toward those whose conduct may in fact be calculated to provoke anger.

How often have we had to bite our tongues when someone has said something bad about our husband? Or about us?!

Patience—not a fit of rage. That quality of long-suffering toward those who wrong you.

I couldn’t do that without the Holy Spirit.

Though most of the time, everything goes smoothly and those around us are wonderful, sometimes it’s hard to be in the position we’re in. Even within the church, people can be hurtful. Even if they’re good-intentioned, they can still say things that hurt. And don’t we also let people down sometimes? Maybe we don’t hold our tongues and hurt others. And what about when we’re new and don’t do things the way they’ve always been done? Or when we make changes that leave people feeling unsettled. Not to mention, within the community of faith, there are always going to be personality conflicts.

But God wants our community to have a spirit of patience with each other.

We’re able to handle it with God’s help. The fruit of the spirit is moral character, played out in our church, and developed by the power of the Spirit.

I’ll be giving away a signed copy of A Family for Faith today in a drawing from among those who leave a comment. What fruit of the Spirit has God been working on in your life?

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Missy Tippens is a pastor’s wife and mom of three who lives near Atlanta. After ten years of pursuing her dream, she made her first sale of a full-length novel to Love Inspired in 2007. She still pinches herself to see if it really happened! Her novels have been finalists in the American Christian Fiction Writers Book of the Year Contest, the Gayle Wilson Award of Excellence and the Bookseller's Best Award. Her most recent release from Love Inspired is A Family for Faith. The next, A House Full of Hope, will be out in February 2012.

You can find Missy at http://www.missytippens.com/

ABOUT THE BOOK - A Family for Faith
When Faith Hagin sees widower cop Gabe Reynolds every day in her coffee shop, she can’t help but feel for the struggling single dad. She’s raised a teenager of her own—and sadly, knows what not to do. But thanks to his matchmaking preteen daughter, Chelsea, the whole town’s praying for Gabe to find a wife!

Even though Faith thinks she’s content being just friends, spending time with him and Chelsea starts to feel like a fresh start at having a family. And their love may be the answer to everyone’s prayers.

From Light to Dark

“The light shines on in the dark, and the darkness has never mastered it.” ~ John 1:5

Do you often find yourself being confronted with the question, whether within your husband’s congregation of believers or not, why the Lord allows bad things to happen? Recently, a dear friend posed that question to me and shortly after, I found it coming up as topic of conversation with several of my girlfriends who are wholeheartedly seeking after Christ. So, I sought out for the confirmation myself, finding that I too needed to be reminded.

Obviously, it’s a very broad question that one can’t just answer in a sentence or two. And to be honest, I don’t know that I’ll ever fully understand some things either. But, just last week the Lord reminded me of John 1:5 and I am hopeful and confident in knowing that darkness will not overcome the light.

Yesterday in reflecting on the death and resurrection of Christ, I thought about when the chief priests, temple officers, and elders came to arrest Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. They only succeeded because a sovereign God allowed them to succeed. It was apart of His plan for Glory. Jesus made a good point to them saying that while he was teaching in the temple every day they never laid a hand on him. Now, suddenly they were after him with swords. So why did God allow them the power to capture Him? Jesus asked that same question from the cross just as we ask it every day. God is omnipotent, in control, just, and is always working things into a pattern for good (Romans 8:28).

Sometimes difficulties around us, and even our own, seem to be random. Our situations and tragedies look wildly uncontrolled. They aren’t. They’re subject and limits have been set. God is quietly at work; having not forsaken or forgotten about us, giving us the grace to press through moment by moment. He is ceaselessly watching over His children.

So to the friend who doesn’t understand why her husband left, to the mother who is left alone to raise 3 children on her own, to the man who desires to be a source of strength for his family but finds himself battling illness, to the girl who desperately seeks to be loved, and to the godly young wife who just longs the Lord to make her a mom - He has not left you. Your darkness will not overcome the light, and while you wait know that He does not willingly bring affliction to the souls of men (Lam. 3:33). He is working things out for your good and HIS glory. Praise be to our glorious God who never leaves nor forsakes us!




ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Maegan Roper is a wife, first-time mommy, worship leader, & literary publicist. She lives in Daphne, AL with her husband Jeremy & 14 month old daughter, Emmalyn where they serve at Coastline Community Church. She is passionate about encouraging other women through biblical study & often discusses lots of faith-based topics at her blog, A Different Remedy (http://www.maeganroper.blogspot.com/).

He is Risen Indeed!

There is really nothing I can add to the message of this holy day. So I will leave you with the pure good news.


So Peter went out with the other disciple, and they were going toward the tomb. Both of them were running together, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first. And stooping to look in, he saw the linen cloths lying there, but he did not go in. Then Simon Peter came, following him, and went into the tomb. He saw the linen cloths lying there, and the face cloth, which had been on Jesus’ head, not lying with the linen cloths but folded up in a place by itself. Then the other disciple, who had reached the tomb first, also went in, and he saw and believed; for as yet they did not understand the Scripture, that he must rise from the dead. Then the disciples went back to their homes.

But Mary stood weeping outside the tomb, and as she wept she stooped to look into the tomb. And she saw two angels in white, sitting where the body of Jesus had lain, one at the head and one at the feet. They said to her, "Woman, why are you weeping?"

She said to them, "They have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid him." Having said this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing, but she did not know that it was Jesus.

Jesus said to her, "Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you seeking?"

Supposing him to be the gardener, she said to him, "Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have laid him, and I will take him away."

Jesus said to her, "Mary."

She turned and said to him in Aramaic, "Rabboni!" (which means Teacher).

Jesus said to her, "Do not cling to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father; but go to my brothers and say to them, 'I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.'"

Mary Magdalene went and announced to the disciples, "I have seen the Lord"—and that he had said these things to her.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Lisa Karon Richardson has been creating stories, since she was little. Influenced by books like The Secret Garden and The Little Princess her early books were heavy on boarding schools and creepy houses. It took her awhile to figure out why grandma thought it was unrealistic for boys and girls to share a room at a boarding house! Now that she’s (mostly) all grown-up she still loves a healthy dash of adventure and excitement in any story she creates, even her real-life story. She’s been a missionary to the Seychelles and Gabon and now that she and her husband are back in America, they are tackling a brand new adventure, starting a daughter-work church in a new city. You can also find Lisa at her group blog: http://inkwellinspirations.blogspot.com/ Her first novella entitled Impressed by Love, part of the Colonial Courtships collection, is coming in May, 2012.

Unacclimated, Uninvolved

As my husband and I prepare to leave our current church for a new appointment this summer, my husband asked a small group of committed members for some feedback on his ministry in their congregation. They offered a few compliments and a few critiques, all very well-taken, until one elderly lady said, “We typically expect our pastor’s wife to be more involved than your wife has been.”

My husband sternly defended my right to choose what I will and will not participate in, just as any ordinary church member does. This is a sore spot, because goodness knows I long to be active in ministry. When we first came to this church, I tried to join in, but always like I was on the periphery of the group, like I was alone in a crowd. The truth is, if I were really an “ordinary member,” I would probably be more involved than I have been as the pastor’s wife these last four years.

Why? Because ordinary members have the privilege of acclimating gradually to a congregation, rather than being expected to be Supermember from Day One.

Why is this acclimation so important? Consider this spectrum of involvement that churches must allow new people, helping them grow from Anonymity to Affinity to Authenticity, and finally to Accountability.

• Anonymity. Even people well-ensconced in a church sometimes feel the need to worship anonymously. That is all the more true for people unfamiliar with the church, its practices, and its people. They need to get acclimated while feeling welcomed but not pressured to "sign their life away" too quickly.
• Affinity. Most churchgoers in America have no idea what makes their denomination different from any other. People become part of a church because they feel they connect to that congregation on a personal level. They have something in common with others there, and find classes or activities where they can explore common interests.
• Authenticity. This is the lynch pin when it comes to increasing commitment to the church. Answering questions like "Are you who you seem to be?" and "Can I be myself here?" pave the way for a person's desire to be a full participant in the life and ministry of the church.
• Accountability. This is the stage where people really commit to give of themselves in ministry, serving regularly and participating fully, rather than simply consuming of the church's ministries.

As the pastor’s wife, I was never anonymous. I joined the church on my very first Sunday because that was what was expected. I never developed the affinity most new people would have to feel on some level in order to stick around. While people have generally been friendly to us, we’ve never really “fit in” socially. With relationships stuck on a very surface level, I’ve never felt like an authentic part of this community. Everyone knows who I am, but no one really knows me.

So no wonder accountability never came naturally.

There’s not much I can do about the anonymity thing in our new church, but I am making the decision not to formally join this congregation until I feel ready. In the meantime, I hope to—maybe, possibly—find friends at this church, find people I can be myself with, and find ministries I care about. Maybe then, even as the pastor’s wife, I could really feel a part of things.

A version of this post, focusing on visitor acclimation and discipleship, can be found on MinistryMatters.com, a new website for church leaders.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Jessica Miller Kelley is a working mom and pastor’s wife in Tennessee. Her husband, Matt, is a United Methodist pastor, and their daughter Kate is the rambunctious toddler who lights up their lives. She blogs about motherhood, books, and church issues at The Parsonage Family (http://www.mattandjesskelley.blogspot.com/).

Re-Prioritizing?

I don't believe anyone is completely immune to the struggle to keep her priorities in order, but I think ministry wives have an even trickier job with this than some people. We all know that our relationships with God are supposed to be first, then after that our families, but after that...how do you decide what's worthy of your time? We all have the same number of hours to work with, like my dad likes to point out to me, but what we do with them is sometimes completely different.

I think this whole issue of prioritizing is something God meant for us to have to work through and ask Him for wisdom on. Otherwise it seems like he would have made it clearer in Scripture exactly what should come after what in order of importance, which He does, but not in super-great detail. I think maybe seeking Him to see what He wants us to pursue is part of what we're supposed to do through prioritizing.

So if you're feeling overwhelemed, stressed, and confused about what ministries you should say yes to, what things you should cut from your schedule, by all means, bust out those lists, sticky notes, and pro/con charts that help you decide what to do. But remember that your dillemna could be an opportunity in disguise and use it as a time to really seek God and see what He's telling you to do with the time He has given you as a gift. You have 24 hours a day--how are you going to spend them?

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Sarah Varland is a book-loving, outdoorsy pastor's wife from Georgia. When she’s not doing glamorous pastor’s wife duties, like squashing bugs and refilling toilet paper rolls, she loves to write, read, kayak and spend time with her husband and son. You can read more of her thoughts on life, books, and the ministry fishbowl at espressoinalatteworld.blogspot.com

Mighty Peace

Several years ago, I wrote a song for a dear friend who was going through a horrible trial. I failed to find words to say that would ease her pain and banish her fears. But I found I could sing the message, and it would reach into her heart in a way that no simple speaking could do:

Your mighty peace
Will comfort me
When all around the storms besiege
I will hide
Beneath Your wing
And rest my soul
In Your mighty peace.


Though Satan lie
And tempt me sore
Within Your word I am secure
I will stand
Forevermore
Your mighty peace
Will win each war.
--JEL

When Kevin heard it he said, “Isn’t that kind of contradictory? I never thought of God’s peace being mighty. It is calm and soothing.” And being the submissive wife that I am, I said, “You are right, Dear,” and quickly changed it.

Absolutely not. I left it just as it was. Because to me, when you are fighting a battle with the devil, whether it be poor health, challenges in your finances, or a messed up relationship, God’s peace in the midst of all that turmoil is the most powerful weapon there is.



Don’t you know it just drives Satan nuts when he is throwing his best problems and worst lies at you, and you go to God’s word, claiming His promises, then simply rest in Him, refusing to panic or worry? You find a favorite Scripture, and say it over and over to yourself to keep your mind focused on the answer rather than the problem. That will cause the peace to come and the devil to run.

I don’t understand how the words in a book called the Bible can be so alive that they bring peace to my troubled soul, but that’s ok; I don’t need to understand it for it to work. The Apostle Paul said that God’s peace “passes understanding.” (Phil. 4:8) It jumps the track of our reasoning, and goes straight to the heart, where it can do the most good.

His peace is mighty. And it’s available to you. Just open the Book and dig in.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: A spunky, sometimes reluctant pastor’s wife of thirty-six years, Jeanette Levellie has published articles, greeting card verses, stories and calendar poems. She authors a bi-weekly humor/inspirational column in her local newspaper, and enjoys speaking to church and civic groups, offering hope and humor in every message. Jen is the mother of two, grandmother of three, and waitress to several cats. Find her blog, On Wings of Mirth and Worth, at http://jeanettelevellie.blogspot.com/

A Tale of Two Goats: Marriage Monday

by Niki Turner

A team of animals yoked together and working in unison can pull double the weight of a single animal. A matched pair of horses, oxen, or even mules engaged in their labor is awe-inspiring, like watching synchronized swimmers or the Blue Angels pilots.

photo by Just chaos	via PhotoRee

We once had a pair of Nubian goats named Shannon and Sheila. They were supposed to snack on our weeds. To my dismay, they liked mulch and ornamental plants much more than those plain old weeds. But the worst thing about the goats was trying to herd them back into their pen at night.

Left alone, they stuck together like glue, but if an outside entity (human, dog, car) tried to maneuver them in a specific direction, they scattered in opposite directions. Upon realizing they were separated and alone, they panicked and ran back together, only to separate again. Each goat apparently thought she knew best, and expected the other to follow, but they submitted to no one, including each other. (Yes, there's a ginormous spiritual analogy there about the differences between sheep and goats, but I don't have space to go into it here!)

We tried yoking them together with a rope, thinking if they were tied together they'd stop scattering and go the same way. Nope. They just stood in the driveway and jerked each other back and forth, making frantic goat cries for help.

photo by 2-Dog-Farm	via PhotoRee

Sometimes my marriage (or at least MY part of it) reminds me of those goats. I'm yoked to my husband. According to God's word, he's the head ox, or donkey. (Note: That doesn't mean he's better or more valuable to the Master, it means this isn't a clown car, with a steering wheel for every passenger.)

Change is difficult. Changing course when you're yoked together and pulling the weight of a family, a job, a ministry, and other responsibilities is even more difficult. The heavier the load you're hauling, the harder it is to turn. When change comes we can get "out of step" with each other. How can you submit to his vision when, from your perspective, it means an uncertain future, separation from your comfort zone, or the laying aside of your personal dreams and plans?

photo by Svadilfari	via PhotoRee

Do you trust your husband? Do you believe he has your best interests (and those of your family) at heart when he makes decisions?

My husband has proven himself more than faithful and trustworthy these past twenty-one years. But sometimes fear and doubt creep in and threaten my trust. Maybe I think he hasn't prayed something through, or I don't understand why he wants to go the way he wants to go, or I just don't like the course we're on or the way he wants something done.

When that happens, the yoke becomes an irritant. I'll find myself aggravated, perturbed, and annoyed for no reason. That's when I know I need to spend some quality time with the Master, the owner of our marital  yoke.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Matt 11:28-30 NIV

HE can be trusted fully, no matter what. I can even trust Him to manage my husband, to change his heart, or mine, as the situation warrants. Are you facing changes in your life? In your ministry? Is that yoke rubbing you the wrong way? I encourage you to spend some time with Jesus and renew your trust in His care and concern for your well-being. Let Him make adjustments in your heart first, and then trust Him to speak to your husband. He loves you both, and knows you better than either of you know yourselves or each other!

Niki Turner writes romantic fiction, Christian non-fiction, blog posts, articles in the local newspaper, grocery lists, and Facebook status updates. Her first completed manuscript won second place in the 2009 Touched By Love contest for contemporary category romance. Colorado natives, Niki and her husband of 20+ years have four children (three at home) and are soon-to-be grandparents. In 1998 they planted a church in rural northwestern Colorado. Currently, they share their home with three teenage boys, two black Lab mutts, and Niki’s absurdly spoiled Westie, Archie. Niki can be found at In Truer Ink, her personal blog and website and co-blogging at Inkwell Inspirations.

Take Time to Sit at the Savior's Feet

Today is Palm Sunday, the beginning of Holy Week, and one of the busiest times for those who work in the church. This is one of those times when it's easy to be swept up in the details and forget the reason behind all the songs, services, contemplations and celebrations. When I woke up this morning (far earlier than normal, thanks to singing in the choir) I thought about this passage from Luke:

     As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
     “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
(Luke 10:38-42, NIV)

Poor Martha. Her Lord and Savior was sitting in her house, and she was so distracted by the details that she missed him. While Mary sat at his feet, basking in his glory, Martha was making sure the table was set properly and the food was cooked. Important stuff, yes, but not more important than spending personal time with Jesus.

As we move through this week, may we keep our eyes on the reason for all these special services and worship opportunities. May we take time to step away from the busyness, sit at the feet of Jesus and let his love wash over us.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Jennifer AlLee is author of the novel The Pastor's Wife, former church secretary, and founder of The Pastor's Wife Speaks. You can find out more about her and her writing at http://www.jenniferallee.com/

Coming Out of the Closet

The closet could be the perfect hiding place. My deep walk-in closet wraps into a perfect rectangular mold. A built-in shoe rack separates my side from my husband's. Shoes climb to the ceiling blocking a clear view of all the garments, purses, and what-not's crowding my side. My closet is my special place.

Christ met me in my closet, over nine years ago. Crumbled in the corner of that small one bedroom apartment, shivering from shame. He saved me that moment from my sins. His love cradled me on the beige carpet of that cluttered space, and smothered me with His love.

Four years later, married with two children, one a newborn. I crawled to the closet again. Without much thought I laid there reciting Psalm 51 on my quivering lips. I needed to be comforted again, consoled, and covered, and I knew the closet was the place.

For the next year, myself and two other women met in the closet. Each one of us in our own homes, down on our knees in prayer. My hand would begin to ache from cradling the phone so long, but each one of took turns unveiling our cares before the Throne. Tears often stole my speech as one of those women prayed over my marriage. We stayed sometimes hours in the presence of God- speaking life into some dead situations.

I love my closet. I cherish the catalog of triumphs God orchestrated there. It's a miracle. I still pray for the day God allows me to come out of the closet, and shares His marvelous works. My testimony still burns bright- even from behind the closet door.

Daniel, proclaims my prayer best.

"It hath seemed good unto me to show the signs and wonders that the Most High God hath wrought toward me. How great are His signs! And how mighty are His wonders! (Daniel 4:2-3a)"

Where is your special place to commune, confess, and cry out to the Lord?

Tamika Eason is a wife, writer, mother to three daughters, and servant. She remains in awe that despite her fallibility God would choose her to choose Him. She and her husband are dedicated to the ministry of their church in Austin, Texas. You can find her scribbling about the writing journey at her blog http://www.thewriteworship.blogspot.com/.

God WITH Us

“From the fullness of His grace we have received one blessing after another.” ~ John 1:16

The theme that the Son makes the Father fully known is fleshed throughout John & the rest of the entire New Testament. I’m not sure about you, but these insights that His Word gives makes me respond differently to situations in my life. In knowing that God’s glory came to dwell among us in the form of man, I have a living hope that helps me press through the unknown of each day.

photo via morguefile

Recently, we’ve gone through a pretty big transition & stepped out in faith to follow Him in something that we knew He was calling us to do; however we weren’t quite ready. In doing only what we know to do in response- PRAY- I was reminded that God is always entering at unexpected times and in unexpected ways, just as Jesus came to us.

God is personally present with His people in and through Christ- Wisdom in the flesh. He reminded me that the Greek translation for “live” literally means to “pitch tent.” If He lives inside of me then He’s “pitched tent” in my heart & my confidence of His presence always with me doesn’t have to waver. When I was 14 years old, the reality that God took on flesh & lived among us changed my life. As I sat full of tears & questions 3 weeks ago in my bedroom closet, I found this same reality turning my world upside down all over again.

God is WITH us; God is FOR us; God is IN us; Immanuel.

So, do I trust Him to shepherd me? Do I allow Him be the way for me or do I keep asking for directions? Do I draw all my spiritual nourishment from Him or do I look to others or things to bring me life? All of these questions are honest and frankly, came out of a place of utter fear.

When He reminds me of the fullness of His grace through the Son, my fears turn to confidence in trusting that the Almighty God is right there with me in each moment and will be with me in the days ahead- thanks to His sacrifice.


ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Maegan Roper is a wife, first-time mommy, worship leader, & literary publicist. She lives in Daphne, AL with her husband Jeremy & 14 month old daughter, Emmalyn where they serve at Coastline Community Church. She is passionate about encouraging other women through biblical study & often discusses lots of faith-based topics at her blog, A Different Remedy (http://www.maeganroper.blogspot.com/).

On A WHIM: Bloom Where You Are Planted

Bloom Where You Are Planted

By Kathy Carlton Willis

People all over the country develop perceptions based on their surroundings. I can say that, because I've lived in several parts of America, and have noticed how opinions and preferences are formulated. Growing up in the rolling hills near the Mississippi River Bed in Missouri, I loved the four seasons and the scenic drives. Moving to the plains of Kansas, I fell in love with the sunsets. In Ohio, the Amish farmlands instantly relaxed me when my schedule was hectic. On the Gulf of Mexico in Texas, the subtropical climate made me feel like I was on vacation all the time. In Northeast Texas, the fireflies took me back to my childhood. And now in New Mexico, the wide-open spaces offer a variety of scenes depending on the mile-marker.


People ask me why I’ve moved so much, and they’ve got it figured out that I’m either married to the military or married to the ministry.

I've learned to try to appreciate what my current surroundings are, while still regarding other areas of the country as equally special. What I've discovered, though, is that when people have lived in the same part of the country all of their lives, they tend to develop tunnel vision and prefer their surroundings to other parts of the country. There is something to be said for Dorothy's mantra, "There's no place like home."


Friends who have always had the wide-open spaces of New Mexico feel claustrophobic in the tree-lined curvy roads of the Ozarks. My Kansas friends miss their sunsets when they visit the congested areas of east Texas.


This may seem trivial, but it does bring home a point. We all have perspectives based on our surroundings. What other opinions have we developed that might cloud our perspective? Do we have tunnel vision or do we allow the blinders to come off? Sometimes we develop prejudices and preferences based on how we were raised. When asked "Why?" the reply is often just "Because Daddy was that way."


God wants us to formulate a mindset based on His Word. Contentment comes when we open our hearts and minds to whatever God brings into our lives.


They old saying, “bloom where you are planted” has never made as much sense as it does for those of us in ministry!

Light & Lively: His Reflection/Her Laughter

Kathy's known for her practical and humorous messages full of hope and insight. Kathy enjoys fiddling with words as: writer, publicist and writer’s coach at Kathy Carlton Willis Communications. She serves on faculty with CLASSeminars, is a member of Advanced Writers and Speakers Association, and others. Kathy shines, whether she’s shining the light on God’s writers and speakers, or reflecting God’s light during her programs. She served in full-time local church ministry with her husband for over twenty-five years.

KATHY CARLTON WILLISKathy Carlton Willis gets jazzed speaking cross-country for women’s events and writers’ conferences.

PERSONAL BLOG: http://imlivingoutloud.blogspot.com

PROFESSIONAL BLOG: http://kcwcomm.blogspot.com/

WEB: http://www.kathycarltonwillis.com/

Kathy speaks on a variety of subjects. Request a brochure like this one: http://bit.ly/b7KOXa

Holmes on Homes

image via Morguefile

So does anyone watch the show Holmes on Homes? It's one of those shows on HGTV, a channel I might be addicted to, and it's about this guy, Mike Holmes, who goes to people's houses when they've had a renovation go wrong and he's supposed to finish the job the contractor started but didn't finish. Inevitably, when he gets there, he finds a zillion other things wrong with the house (asbestos, mold, toxic sludge, you know, usual stuff). And even if the house is GORGEOUS, if it wasn't built correctly, they tear things down and build it again.

My husband preached a few weeks ago about the Pharisees and the fact that they're called "Whitewashed Tombs" and it made me think of this show. These houses usually look so good from the outside--some of them are absolutely beautiful, but underneath the appealing exterior there are major problems.

I think as people in the ministry, this is one of the easiest traps for us to fall into. We're so concerned sometimes, at least I am, with trying to "look perfect" that I focus too much on my exterior and not enough on my interior. I'm not denying the fact that we're looked upon as examples, like it or not, and should strive to do that well. But at the same time, our inner woman, the part that has a relationship with God, is the one that needs to be taken care of the most.

At the end of the show Holmes on Homes, when he's told them everything that's wrong with their pretty house, demo-ed everything, and built it the right way, he brings the people back in to show them the work he has done and he explains what he fixed that they can't see (wiring, plumbing, whatever). Without fail, by the end of the show the house is 100 times more gorgeous looking, and not just because of what you immediately see. It's more gorgeous because you know there are no deep, dark, dangerous secrets the house is hiding anymore. It's been rebuilt right from the inside out.

If you've been focused on how you look as a Christian lately, stop worrying about it so much. Fix the inside of you, whatever is going on between you and God, and the outside will come. In fact, by the time you get your heart where it needs to be, the outside of you--the person everyone sees--will be an even more amazingly obvious testimony for Christ.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Sarah Varland is a book-loving, outdoorsy pastor's wife from Georgia. When she’s not doing glamorous pastor’s wife duties, like squashing bugs and refilling toilet paper rolls, she loves to write, read, kayak and spend time with her husband and son. You can read more of her thoughts on life, books, and the ministry fishbowl at espressoinalatteworld.blogspot.com

God Isn't

As I look back on my journey of faith, especially our years in ministry, I've discovered some surprises about my Father. He discloses His heart to us by saying “I AM NOT” as much as when He declares, “I AM.” God isn’t…

v  Worried

The Good Shepherd is not afraid that if the economy fails, He won’t be able to supply your needs. His provision is based on His riches (Philippians 4:19), not global events or your employment status. Heaven is off limits to recession and depression. If you are God’s child and you’re a tither, He has promised to care for you. He won’t become angry if you are bold enough to remind Him of that promise. I think it would compliment the Lord that you are coming to Him instead of the government or Uncle Charlie.

v  Tired

When you approach your Father, asking the same favor for the three hundredth time, He doesn’t say, “Oh, you again? I have more important people and things to manage today.” He longs to have pity on you and show you favor. He rises to have compassion on you (Isaiah 30:18). Jesus said, “If you, a mere earthly father will give good things to your kids, how much more will your Heavenly Father give to those who ask Him?”

v  Offended

The Master of the universe doesn’t feel insulted when ungodly people take His name in vain, refuse to believe in Him, or twist His Word around to suit their narrow perceptions. It doesn’t distress Him if people try to explain creation by theories or attempt to prove He doesn’t exist. In fact, He laughs at them (Psalm 2:4). But, I do sometimes wonder if He cringes when His kids act worse than heathens, fighting among themselves. That may tick Him off…

v  Stupid

The God of all Wisdom knows more than all of us put together. I know it’s laughable to see it in print. Then, why do we seek His guidance as Plan Z instead of A? Why do we trust people’s word over His? He has all the direction we will ever need. When we ask, He promises to share (James 1:5). And don’t think He only speaks in church on Sunday morning between 9:30 and noon through a trained preacher. Open your Bible some Tuesday afternoon or Saturday morning and see what’s happening in His heart.

v  Religious

The Lord of creation loves to surprise us by solving things His way, rather than how we’ve figured it out. He used a pimple-faced, sweaty teenager to kill a giant that had an entire army terrified. What unconventional method might He use to fix your problem?

Have you discovered other ways "God Isn't"?

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: A spunky, sometimes reluctant pastor’s wife of thirty-six years, Jeanette has published articles, greeting card verses, stories and calendar poems. She authors a bi-weekly humor/inspirational column in her local newspaper, and enjoys speaking to church and civic groups, offering hope and humor in every message. She is the mother of two, grandmother of three, and waitress to several cats. Find her blog, On Wings of Mirth and Worth, at http://jeanettelevellie.blogspot.com/

Do you recognize this man?

 by Niki Turner

Ah, spring. When grass sprouts green and buds burst forth from the trees. Horses get "antsy" in the spring and schoolchildren become increasingly rambunctious. Why? You can probably blame it on hormones.

photo by andronicusmax	via PhotoRee

As women, we're accustomed to "blaming" things on our hormones. Odd food cravings, crabby attitudes, bloating, emotional outbursts, the sudden appearance of pimples, and so forth. What we aren't used to, however, is attributing behavioral changes in our menfolk to hormones ... but they have 'em, too!

Men have shifts in their levels of testosterone and estradiol, similar to the rise and fall of estrogen/progesterone that women have monthly. Some researchers indicate men may experience hormone-related issues daily, with surges and drops in testosterone levels from morning to evening. Cranky man in the morning? Could be hormone-related. There are notable changes in male hormone levels in the spring and fall, as well, providing a possible explanation for the rise in domestic violence cases in the fall, and this...

photo by Tambako the Jaguar	via PhotoRee

"It happened in the spring of the year, at the time when kings go out to battle, that David sent Joab and his servants with him ... but David remained at Jerusalem." (2 Samuel 11:1)

We know the rest of the story. David (who should have been out bashing his enemies over the head with the guys, because that's apparently what guys are supposed to DO in the spring) stayed home and fell prey to lust and adultery instead. Do you suppose David was dealing with hormone issues?

For fellas, these fluctuations in hormone levels can cause anxiety, depression, stomach cramps, fatigue, anger, aggression, fluctuations in sexual drive, even cravings for chocolate and hot flashes. Also known as Irritable Male Syndrome (IMS), men may demonstrate all sorts of unusual behaviors: a sudden desire to change jobs or career paths, irrational irritation and frustration about their current circumstances, blame-casting, a reversion to adolescent behavior patterns, hypersensitivity, and more.

My husband and I had a bi-annual battle royale every spring and fall for the first few years of our marriage. He would be dissatisfied about SOMETHING ... his job, our relationship, his future, our finances, etc. No matter what I did to "fix" it, nothing helped, which left me frustrated and angry. Has your husband ever tried to fix your hormonal issues, whether PMS, pregnancy, postpartum, or menopause? How effective were his efforts?

photo by johnmuk	via PhotoRee

I don't remember where I found the information about IMS, but it was heaven-sent. Realizing that my husband was not losing his mind every spring and fall was a huge help. (As much of a help as when HE learned about PMS and pregnancy hormones.)

Instead of reacting in fear and anger to his argumentative attitude, sudden urge to go buy a new motorcycle/truck/airplane/TV/bed no matter what our checkbook said, general itchiness for extreme physical activity (skydiving, snowboarding, dirt biking, etc.), and endless "discussions" about his true purpose in life, I could step back and view the situation objectively, with a hint of compassion. He was caught in the midst of a PMS-like haze and didn't even know it!

While there's no surefire "cure" for IMS, knowing that your husband may be dealing with a hormonal shift in his body might be enough to defuse your own furious reaction to his ranting or withdrawal. For treatment (beyond chocolate, which you might both need) some have suggested that increasing the frequency of one's sexual encounters may assuage the worst of the symptoms.
(It's worth a try, anyway!)



Niki Turner writes romantic fiction, Christian non-fiction, blog posts, articles in the local newspaper, grocery lists, and Facebook status updates. Her first completed manuscript won second place in the 2009 Touched By Love contest for contemporary category romance.
      Colorado natives, Niki and her husband of 20+ years have four children  (three at home) and are soon-to-be grandparents. In 1998 they planted a church in rural northwestern Colorado. Currently, they share their home with three teenage boys, two black Lab mutts, and Niki’s absurdly spoiled Westie, Archie.
     Niki can be found at In Truer Ink, her personal blog and website, here at Inkwell Inspirations, and at The Pastor’s Wife Speaks.